My Mother Always Said…

“Only boring people get bored.”

That’s what she used to tell me. Whining to her in the middle of summer or during school breaks for the holidays like the spoiled rotten brat that I was, I would slink off to my room after she said it, pouting that my own mother called me boring. Assembling my ten million stuffed animals, I would call the meeting to order and inquire as to what grand adventure we should have together.

They would stare at me, glassy-eyed, silent…unhelpful. I knew they participated in all sorts of hair-raising schemes behind my back, but were they going to confess to their devoted, doting person? Not a chance. Screw them. I retreated to my closet to check if it had transformed into a portal to Narnia instead. Nope. Still just a wall of sheetrock.

My mother would also offer to let me fold laundry, or dust, or put away dishes, if I complained too frequently, or too long. What I really wanted was a flying unicorn. Or a rainbow I could climb to visit the cloud men of Roald Dahl’s imagination. I WANTED AN ADVENTURE, BY GOLLY.

When my own children get bored, I say “Revel in it! Enjoy it! Do you know how many people in the world would LOVE to know how it feels to be bored? It’s a luxury!! You could be working in a sweatshop or a coal mine! You could be digging potatoes until your fingernails fall off, you could be…(etc)”

I’m much more long-winded than my mother.

I am also the world’s biggest hypocrite. Because,

Right now? 

I’M SO BORED.

SO. BORED.

SOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

The most exciting thing that happened to me today was that my baby boy pooped Stonehenge. It is, at this moment, sitting in the bottom of the toilet bowl, slowly eroding since it refuses to flush. I should start a betting pool amongst my children to see who estimates its time-to-flushability to the closest minute. 

The sameness of my days is killing me. Am I alone? Or am I just the only one brave enough to say it? I mean, come on, it’s an unwritten rule that Christians (especially) are not supposed to complain of boredom. We are supposed to savor every moment in an attitude of thankfulness for our every breath. I know this. I’m not stupid. It’s pretty much sinful to pout over the lack of portals to other dimensions where every episode moment is a new thrill.

And so I’ll make my own excitement. I will rise above the boredom that is trying to claim me. I AM NOT A BORING PERSON, BY JINGO! I AM A CLEVER AND CREATIVE SOUL!

I will go and see if I can flush the toilet yet.

And maybe burn something down.

27 thoughts on “My Mother Always Said…”

  1. R.O.T.F.L.

    For serious.

    No, you’re not the only one! I’ve recently decided to abstain from movies/shows for a month to see if I can pull myself out of this bored sludgy (sludgey? suhludigee?) slump and do something more worthwhile with my time.

    Also, you make me laugh. A lot.

  2. Last year I suddenly felt bored (I mean, after 17 years of raising kids and not feeling that way). It may have had something to do with my youngest being 3 and no baby on the way any more. Suddenly I just needed to get out of the house for a bit and do something different. So I started working in a bookstore a few evenings a week. That helped a little, just having a bit of a change of pace.

    are you saying I shouldn’t burn something down? ~onething

  3. You could always take up base jumping…. I hear that’s good for curing boredom. I would offer to let you fold my washing but it’s probably a bit far for you to travel 😉

    hahaha! Did you miss the part about me being terrified of heights? And jumping from them on purpose? ;o)

  4. What about that novel you were going to write? That would keep you AND us from being bored (if you showed it to us, that is)…

    Oooh….way to get the novel-writing-accountability reminder out there! I agree it’s time to get serious on that…just as soon as no one needs me for a few weeks…

  5. You just need a change Jenni. I like the idea of the job at a book store – just one evening a week. Get’s you out. And yes – write a book Jenni – you are so very gifted with words. Write a book!
    And start planning a vacation – it might not happen for

  6. oops – must of pressed enter.
    anyways… that vacation for the two of you might not happen for a while but have fun planning it.
    Bleesings!

    Oh yes….PLANNING adventures is always fun!

  7. You could burn your Christmas tree in the backyard. Just make sure to have eleventy million helpers armed with hoses and fire extinguishers handy, because when my neighbor’s toddler tried that in their backyard it nearly took out two houses.

    Or you could burn a candle. That might be better…

    Dang. Already threw it out. Definitely all over the candle idea, though!

  8. Awe, the sin of boredom. Who would have thought that there were so many of us with so many mundane tasks and chores could ever be bored? And with an entire room of fabric waiting to be cut and sewn–you’d think I’d never get bored. How about making bread–instead of burning something you can beat up on the bread, I mean knead it! That way you’ll have something good to eat and something to help ebb the boredom; at least for one day.
    But please write a book. I can’t wait to see all the witticisms you put into it!

    Bread is a good idea….mmmmm….

  9. Remember how you told me your stuffed animals came alive at night? That freaked me out. Also… you told me to keep good care of them when you went away to “college” and I subsequently beat them all up in some imaginary cage match. Now… that’s an imagination.

    Go start a fistfight with your pillow… it’s giving you a dirty look. That’ll give you something to do for a little bit.

    Why, exactly, is “college” in quotes? Are you questioning that I went?

  10. Go
    get
    a tattoo,
    or just
    think about it.

    What would it be?

    Also, it looks so good here in your neck of the blog woods.

    Also, isn’t motherhood so gross, and isn’t it amazing how often we talk about poop? My sister and I talk about poo like every single day. I mean, I don’t even have anything else to talk about.

    I have actually pondered the tattoo question in the past, but I can’t think of what I’d get. Probably my husband’s name, right on my bicep. And thanks for the compliment!

  11. hey, wanna trade lives for a couple of months? i’ll learn how to teach school, etc, and you could go sit down by the lake and start whichever book it is that you’re gonna write first. … for serious.

  12. and that is why I still have a hard time getting rid of any stuffed animal…they look at me with those pitiful eyes and I can’t do it. Well, you could lose yourself in a good book…preferably Jane Austen or better yet, like mentioned above, write your own! I can’t wait to read it!!

  13. Put January 24, Global Belly Laugh Day on your calendar. Knowing you are going to laugh boosts positive emotions. The celebration of the great gift of laughter is playful, easy and fun. On January 24 at 1:24 p.m. (your local time) smile, throw your arms in the air and laugh out loud.
    Invited all your stuffted animals to join the Belly Laugh Bounce ‘Round the World.
    Wishing you a bit of sunshine.
    with a smile and a belly laugh,
    Elaine Helle

  14. I get totally bored with the sameness of my life, but any time I mention it, my youngest decides to spice things up by getting put in the hospital for SOMETHING! LOL

    Also, these days, I’ve got adoption of two little girlies on the brain, so I’m not bored even when Joshua stays OUT of the hospital. 🙂

    You’re right, though… the day-in, day-out of life can get pretty dang tedious. Oh, and as for Stonehenge? You might want to scoop it out of the toilet OR break it up into smaller pieces so it’ll flush. Do not ask me how I know to suggest this. 😉

  15. I didn’t question you went to college… you just weren’t there very long before you got married and became supermama

    I am sorry I misinterpreted your use of quotes. Also, I am not supermama.

  16. OHMYGOSH. I get bored all. the time. I’m a SAHM…and I would NEVER be anything else. BUT…there are those moments. The ones where you think, “Oooh! I’d love to just run out to the store and pick up that carton of (x) that I need for dinner.”

    Then you look around and remember, “Oh yeah…the bitty one is asleep” or “oh yeah….naptime is in a few minutes.” Or…it’s the laundry, or the vacuuming, or the bread rising…

    And then you’re bored. Because you have a million things to do, and not ONE of them is what you really WANT to be doing right now. (Because what you WANT is a unicorn from Roald Dahl’s imagination…that will do all the chores. ;-))

    YES! Hitting the nail right smack on the head, Lolo! Thank you for just keeping me company…empathy is a wonderful thing…

  17. btw…are you going to tell who took which header picture or what? just wondering…

    clean forgot. But yes, I’ll get around to it!

  18. I wrote thank you notes today.
    I took a shower.
    I cooked a roast. (Now your life can seem exciting compared to mine.)

    Au contraire, Nanette my friend…au contraire…

  19. Did I really say that? I don’t remember saying that. I probably did. I KNOW I suggested jobs you could do (doesn’t every mother?). However, I think it should be “Boring people never get bored” (because they have no imagination, therefore they wouldn’t even know they were bored). I say this now because I get bored all the time and want to run away to the book store (or anywhere) and I am definitely NOT boring.(unless Ive been cooped up i the house too long.

    You really did say it. Unless I’m misquoting you again. Your logic is undeniable.

  20. I really believe the reason John & I seek out all these wonderful “adventures” now is because we became adventure Junkies while Greg was alive. A trip to ER, or the training of a new nurse, was never far off..
    I get bored so easily – without something to organize or to plan! I am currently going quietly insane – and that with all the still undetermined parts of my near future.

    I’m glad you have your company in the boredom, Aunt Louise!

  21. cure for boredom. Plan and execute the organization of a new theatre group, choose a play, “Fiddler on the Roof,” and some fabulously talented homeschooled teenagers and one amazing tutor to be Tevye, recruit moms for costumes, choreography, program printing and babysitting, then put opening night on the snowiest night in over a decade, and try to contact the SOLD OUT crowd to reschedule for Monday night. Oy.

    Oh. Oh dear. I think this is the most tragic story I have ever heard. Oh.

  22. Oh my. This cracked me up. You know, when I had a short break between Christmas and having Markus, I had a little time to do “all those fun things I used to do before kids.” It took me several days to come up with what they were. We get so into our routines as mothers, sometimes, I think we forget that we have other interests. And that we ourselves are interesting!

Comments are closed.