First things first: the You Tickle Me  award.

 

 

I’m about to cop-out, friends. I…I…I can’t help it! You ALL made me laugh! You ALL broadened my comedic horizons! I can’t single anybody out to receive it, so………….

 

I’ll just give him to everybody. If you played along, and you want him…take him for your very own. Take him! Crush him to your bosom. Hug him and squeeze him and call him George. Enjoy his octopody goodness.

 

I know it’s a cop-out. I warned you in advance! Don’t look at me in that accusing way!

 

Okay, okay, come closer and I’ll whisper a little secret into your ear to make it up to you…

 

Closer….

 

Closer…

Next week I’m going to give away some really cool paraphernalia, so you definitely want to be here for that.

 

I SAID

 

NEXT WEEK I’M GOING TO GIVE AWAY SOME REALLY COOL PARAPHERNALIA, SO YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO BE HERE FOR THAT!!!!!

 

Can you hear me now?

 

I’m glad you’re excited. Aren’t you glad you didn’t give up on me and my little Woe is me and great is my distress I’m done blogging goodbye cruel world  spiel? Cause now you get to win stuff!

 

I’m so full of crap.

 

But some of it is pretty fun crap.

 

For example, I found this really fantastic website the other day. Its premise is that people have an inherent need to be nagged in order to accomplish things, and so when you sign up they will send you random emails to hassle you into doing the things you know you should be doing.

 

Am I the only one who finds it really tragic that there are people out there who have no one to nag them? Perhaps we can go one better than hassleme.com. Perhaps we can begin businesses like Merry Maids wherein people hire out kindly motherly and/or wifely types who simply stand over them and bark out orders and empty threats every so often.

 

How much do you suppose someone would pay for such a service?

 

What if we threw in complimentary slaps upside the head and boots in the rear as well?

 

I think I may have found my calling.