Everybody knows Psalm 23. The Lord is my Shepherd, and all that. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leadeth me beside the still waters, He restores my soul. Ahhhhhh…nice. Paths of righteousness, yeah, bring it on! Read some more!
Hmph.
Funny how there’s that verse about the Valley of the Shadow of Death stuck in there. It’s almost as if (surely not!) God is saying it won’t be all sunshine and roses, this following after the Good Shepherd. Almost as if (perish the thought!) He doesn’t want us to expect to always dance on the mountaintops.
It’s downright disturbing, is what it is. Doesn’t at all fit in with my personal preferences.
I focus on the warm, bright meadow. The plentiful nourishment. The burbling springs. When I have those things, I feel God’s love shining down on me in all His Kingly benevolence. And then, when I am standing, shivering in the shadow so dark that it seems to permeate my very being…I decide He’s abandoned me.
It is not so.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for YOU ARE WITH ME.
THOUGH, not “if.” THOUGH, not “hopefully not.” THOUGH, not “if you’re especially good you can avoid it.”
The valley is arrived at in an instant. An illness. An accident. Bad news dropping–no matter how gently–from the lips of a doctor, falling like a blanket of ash upon your soul. The valley is entered. The volcano has blown. There is no water, no sustenance, no warmth. We cannot see the way out. We can only stumble along, trusting in the grip of the One who never lacks sight.
This Christian walk…it’s not about His gifts. It’s not about His blessings. It’s not about His plan to get you out of your current sucky situation. It’s not even about the way He performed that miracle for you back whenever it was. These are reasons to love Him, to be sure…but they are pale and puny things in light of that which we must never lose sight of: HE IS WITH US. His name is Emmanuel. God…WITH US.
No longer in a temple. No longer in an ark. No longer resting upon one chosen person only. No longer hiding His face. No longer estranged. No longer bridging the gap between heaven and earth with fire and smoke and shaking mountains. No longer unreachable. No longer untouchable.
No longer waiting. No longer longing.
Just WITH US. Always. Through the green meadow. Beside the still water. And through the valley of the shadow of death. He promises never to leave us nor forsake us. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never.
Never.
Infinity.
It is enough, and more than enough, to know He is there. Holding me. In the darkness. In the cold. In the sorrow. In the shame. In the anger. In the struggle. In the Valley.
He promises never to leave nor forsake. There is no blessing greater than that. The Creator of seen and unseen plants His feet beside me and does not depart.
There is evil here; I can feel it. Why would He exhort us to fear no if there were none to fear? But the Shepherd in the green meadow is the same Shepherd in the Valley of the Shadow. He is still shepherding. I am still His sheep. He whispers courage…courage, my beloved…
And if I bleat, and bolt? Still with me. Can’t lose Him. He’s the hound of heaven, and He pursues His own. And so I take courage, all that I can gather, and choose to press closer to Him. Lord, help me stay there, even when the valley is far behind!
Praying with you and for you today… and for Him to provide a headlamp for you so you can see ahead, see how He is leading you through the valley.
yes…with us…we are meant to be weak…i think…we are weak…we need Him to carry us so much…well, i do anyway…
I am so sorry, I was hopeful…
I posted a song for you that has come on repeatedly over the last week and I have thought of you each time…
heartbroken with you…
and dang it…I wish I could whisk you off to the beach…
Jenni, I don’t know what you’ve faced or are facing but you are right about God being with us. That’s it. Sum total. When I went through my dad’s lung cancer and his death and his denials as far as I knew and heard that he needed the “crutch” of God, I cried like I’ve never cried before or since. All I know and can count on is that God is with me. Period. Even if the world goes to hell, which it will.
Hang in there. It’s called climbing that cross.
I wrote about this very Valley a year ago after our oldest son tragically died. http://lilies-of-the-field.blogspot.com/2008/09/valley-vs-pit.html I get it!
I just wanted to let you know my prayers are also with you no matter what valley you may be in; but also that I feel so blessed by your decision to come back to blogging. You really know how to speak to my soul.
Based on what Sarah wrote, I suspect I know what has happened. If that is the case, Jenni, please know my heart breaks for you & I will weep with you.
There is a song Adam ‘gave’ me (one of his videos) that is by Barlow Girl, called “I Believe In Love”. The chorus goes:
I believe in the sun even when it’s not shining
I believe in love even when I don’t feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
Those silent times, in the valley, can be so hard. Someone wise said, “If you find yourself in hell, keep walking.” That one speaks to me.
Keep walking, Jenni. And know that not only does the King of Kings love you, but your earthly friends, even the online ones, do, too.
I have been in the valley recently with some things. I have been reminded that He won’t let go, He can’t because of His Promises. And even if He could He doesn’t want to. He is rejoicing over me with singing (Zep 3:17) He is for me. And He is for you too.
I can’t even begin to imagine what your valley is…but whatever it is know you are not alone, like you said…
Hugs,
Kari
Great post, Jenni. Thank you for sharing it with us
God has given you the voice of honesty and beautiful eloquence, Jenni. I am upholding you in prayer and my heart. You are never, ever alone.
Jenni, Iknow not what your valley is but spent a fair share of time in one over the last 18 months.. and Yes, He is there/here.
Praying for you.
loved reading this post, deary dear. i needed it. … and ditto, what sarah said about whisking! ;o)
A great reminder; thank you. One of the most oft-quoted (and mis-quoted) “Bible” verses is “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Not true. He will allow a way out of temptation, but nowhere does it say that He won’t allow trials to stack up, bringing you to the end of yourSELF. It is there that we learn, as you have so eloquently stated, to press closer to Him.
“No trial has come to you but what is human.
God is faithful and will not let you be tried
beyond your strength;
but with the trial he will also provide a way out,
so that you may be able to bear it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13
Jenni, the valley is the place where we likely find ourselves closest to the humanity of Christ. The last book my spiritual director put in my hands was called “Death on a Friday Afternoon” by Fr. John Richard Neuhaus. I highly recommend it. It’s meditations on the words of Our Lord from the Cross.
Because He suffered for us, He knows intimately the sufferings of each soul…I am thankful for the gift of YOUR faith, Jenni, and your willingness to share it with us here.
Thank you so much for this – I REALLY needed this reminder today!