I went to the doctor the other day. The OB. Is there any other kind?
I didn’t want to go to the doctor. He’s a nice Christian guy but I can never decipher whether he’s looking at me with pity, disapproval, or affection. I have tried many times to make him laugh and only succeeded a few times over the years. I think I’m a pretty funny person, but he makes me doubt myself. It would be nice if he’d just flat-out proclaim how he feels instead of keeping his professional opinion under wraps. I could handle that better.
If he disapproves, I could tell him to shut his pie-hole and thank me for the repeat business.
If he thinks I’m awesome, he could scream “W00t!” and go for a high five.
The mental image makes me giggle.
He doesn’t congratulate me this time. We’ve done this dance often enough to know that would be premature. Instead we chat and he nods and shuffles the papers on my chart and says “well, let’s just go down the hallway here and see what’s going on!”
In the sonogram room, I get the distinct impression that he’s not looking forward to this anymore than I am. We’ve been through this more than a few times, and the gentle delivery of bad news is wearing on him…of that much I’m almost certain. He doesn’t turn on the big projector that is turned my way, but keeps his eyes on the small screen for his eyes only. The seconds feel like hours.
“Welllll….” he begins. “We actually have good news today!”
A smile. He turns the big screen on. There is an island of life within, a little strobe light of happiness dancing in the depths. A heartbeat.
Dates are perfect. Growth is perfect. And the heartbeat, of course, could be nothing less.
There are no guarantees in life, ever. My children are gifts, the ones who fill my house with chaos and the ones whose faces I have not yet seen. I have had 8 pregnancies evaporate into mist, go straight from hope to heartbreak. Yet this one, I feel strongly, is destined for terrestrial things.
I’ll be 42 this year. I’ve never felt so acutely that these baking years are coming to an end. I’m okay with that.
But I’m happy for one more chance to fire up the oven.
Congratulations, you! So happy to read your news.
For some reason, when I read Epic Crapola, it comes out the same every time. Eric Clapton. Go figure.
Rock on, Jenni!
Congratulations! Prayers for your pregnancy.
Congratulations! You are such an amazing mom & I could not be any happier for you if I tried!!!
So incredibly happy for you!!!
Awwww…congratulations! And I’m so glad you’re feeling sick & all is well with your baby!
Congratulations. I’m so excited for you and yours.
When I read the kitchen sink post I had to go back to read this one, since it has been a while since I last read you. I can’t believe anyone would leave an ugly comment. If they don’t think you should have such a large family, what the heck are they doin’ on your blog anyway? I am happy for you. We just had our fourth in October and my husband is ready to be done. Our precious new one was born with cleft lip and palate and has already had her first surgery. Her Daddy feels since she will be extra work, we shouldn’t have any more. I am praying he will change his mind. I asked him to be open to what God wants to bless us with, and that I would be open to the idea of being done if I felt that was what God wanted for us. What a hard thing though. I don’t think I will ever want to be done for good, until my body can no longer make babies. Such a conflicting thing. Anyway, back to you. Glad things are progressing for you and will pray that baby makes it ’til its November due date!
Congratulations! I hope all continues to go well.