I went to the doctor the other day. The OB. Is there any other kind?
I didn’t want to go to the doctor. He’s a nice Christian guy but I can never decipher whether he’s looking at me with pity, disapproval, or affection. I have tried many times to make him laugh and only succeeded a few times over the years. I think I’m a pretty funny person, but he makes me doubt myself. It would be nice if he’d just flat-out proclaim how he feels instead of keeping his professional opinion under wraps. I could handle that better.
If he disapproves, I could tell him to shut his pie-hole and thank me for the repeat business.
If he thinks I’m awesome, he could scream “W00t!” and go for a high five.
The mental image makes me giggle.
He doesn’t congratulate me this time. We’ve done this dance often enough to know that would be premature. Instead we chat and he nods and shuffles the papers on my chart and says “well, let’s just go down the hallway here and see what’s going on!”
In the sonogram room, I get the distinct impression that he’s not looking forward to this anymore than I am. We’ve been through this more than a few times, and the gentle delivery of bad news is wearing on him…of that much I’m almost certain. He doesn’t turn on the big projector that is turned my way, but keeps his eyes on the small screen for his eyes only. The seconds feel like hours.
“Welllll….” he begins. “We actually have good news today!”
A smile. He turns the big screen on. There is an island of life within, a little strobe light of happiness dancing in the depths. A heartbeat.
Dates are perfect. Growth is perfect. And the heartbeat, of course, could be nothing less.
There are no guarantees in life, ever. My children are gifts, the ones who fill my house with chaos and the ones whose faces I have not yet seen. I have had 8 pregnancies evaporate into mist, go straight from hope to heartbreak. Yet this one, I feel strongly, is destined for terrestrial things.
I’ll be 42 this year. I’ve never felt so acutely that these baking years are coming to an end. I’m okay with that.
But I’m happy for one more chance to fire up the oven.
W00t and many hugs and prayers
Congratulations! W00T, indeed.
how wonderful and exciting! congrats to you and your family!
congratulations…best wishes…and prayers for a healthy, happy and easy pregnancy!
Wooo Hooo! Virtual High five! Coming out of lurkdome to say Hi and congrats!
w00t!
You totally rock!
Hello Ms Jenni – I have to say a big fat ditto for what sarah said earlier today, “prayers for a healthy, happy and easy pregnancy!”
I simply love reading your blog and remember now that I started reading just as Cowboy X was being born…I can’t believe it’s been so long already!
Congrats and know that you and your family are getting a sweet and grateful petition to the Lord from me today.
w00t! and high five too! I wish I could have such a happy visit to my ob. I’ll be 43 this year. sigh.
Congratulations! I had my last one at age 42 (after a miscarriage). Of course, as the caboose, she is spoiled to death.
Well YAY! Congratulations! Praying for a no-hitches, smooth-sailing pregnancy…
Adrienne
Love it, LOVE it! Congratulations!
That is such wonderful news! Big “woot” from So Cal! Congrats!
Jenni,
I don’t know if you remember me from the lotsofkids board but I wanted to let you know that at 44 I delivered our eleventh baby. She was fighter from the beginning. I was told numerous times that she wouldn’t make it in the first trimester and told some potentially devastating news in the second trimester. But here she is, two months old today, healthy and beautiful.
Congratulations!
Julianne
I remember you well, Julianne. Congratulations!! What a glorious tale.
Happy news for you and your family. Best wishes for a healthy journey.
Oh, yay! Best wishes!
OMG…Congratulations!
Whoo hoo! Many congrats and well-wishes. When is the little one due?
“What the heck does 62% mean?” was bugging me until I got to the end and did some quick math. I knew from previous posts that you had babies in heaven, but I did not realize it was so many. I can rejoice with you and imagine how wonderful it would be to have so many blessings tearing up the house, but I simply cannot fathom the heartbreak of those losses and the trepidation that must accompany each new conception. That takes some serious fortitude and grace! I’ll pray for a happy, healthy experience this go-round.
Thank you Sandi; it’s not often I do math on purpose so I was wondering if anyone would know what I meant by the 62%. ;o) Baby is due November 5th.
Good news, congratulations!!!
Oh MY!!! I am so excited for you
Thanks for sharing the news with us, I’ll be praying for you and your family and this new little one!
CONGRATULATIONS, Jenni! I so wish I could give you a great big(((HUG))) in person!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you. I will be praying for you and the little munchkin.
Congratulations!!!! I hardly ever comment (bad me!) but I just HAD to break out of lurkerdom to say WOOHOO!! What wonderful news! Congratulations!
Congratulations!! You know that you, your family and the little bub are all going to be very covered in prayer this pregnancy right? So so happy to hear your news.
So very happy for you! congratulations!! may the Lord be near to you during this special time!
Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am wishing I had such news…what a blessing!
Hugs
Mary, mom to 10
Great news, congratulations! I am so happy for you.
“There is an island of life within, a little strobe light of happiness dancing in the depths”…I love that. and You.
I was just thinking the other day about your having another baby. How weird is that!? You are in my google reader and I saw your blog and thought of you and another blessing on the way. I am so happy for you!!!!!! Congrats to your family
I am thrilled for you!!! Congratulations!!!
YAY! Big congrats!
CONGRATULATIONS Jenni!!!!!!!!!!! I am doing a happy dance for you!!! What wonderful news!
That is the best news! I love to hear about new babies!
*wOOt!* to be sure! The best of news, indeed. What a gift.
uh… Woot!?
Ah 13. What a nice round number. Seriously… you need to get a tattoo. With 13 kids you could get one rockin’ cool back-piece. We could go to tattoo conventions together and work on who could get our bodies covered first! C’mon… ready!! GO TEAM!!
Okay. Seriously though… love you and congratulations. I’ve been praying for you.
Hooray! Or, um, Woot! If you prefer.
We’re expecting our fourth in September. I have been less than excited at certain moments in this pregnancy because it wasn’t my “pefect” timing. Thanks for the reminder (Ok, the kick in the pants)that every baby is a blessing and this one, which I suspect will be our fourth daughter, is no different.
Praying for you and yours!
Yay! So happy for you… will definitely keep you and your little one in my prayers!
That is wonderful news! Congrats!! I’ve been reading you for several years now, and I know how much you want this baby. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Thrilled for you!
Oh, Congratulations Jenni! I’m so happy for you and your family!
JENNI!!!!!!!!!!!! I have tears in my eyes and chillbumps. What WONDERFUL news! Such a beautiful blessing. Adding to the many prayers that this pregnancy is surrounded in health and peace.
WOOT!
Wow! I’m so happy for you! Congrats!
Congratulations, Jenni!
Ya hoo! And here I wasn’t even going to be checking your blog for awhile… and just look what I would have missed out on! Congratulations… and prayers for a healthy and happy pregnancy. You’re a rock star.
Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooot!
Wowza! The blog-o wasn’t vacant for long, was it?
Congratulations!
Your Grandma Koenig was 42 when Maria was born, and 44 when I was born. And we came after she had several miscarriages and the Dr strongly recommended a hysterectomy.
You go girl!
I think you just described Dr. C. in B-ville to a T! Am I right? It sounds like him. 62% Wow. I’m at 50%, 5 for 10. Kid count 6, thanks to one, two for one special. I’m 42, also.
Yay! WOOT! I’ll be turning 41 this year and adding #6 to our mix…after a “drought” of sorts like you were experiencing! One night, as I lay in bed, after a day of not feeling sick (an answer to prayers and a scourge at the same time) I prayed myself into tears that all was well with the baby. An overwhelming peace came over me as I realized that God loves this baby even more than I ever could, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I’ll add you and yours to my night time insomniatic visits with God.
We’re camping in Gulf Shores with our bus after Easter, and I always think of you when we’re there. Years ago, you made reference to your vacation there…I hope that doesn’t make me look like a stalker…Honest, I’m just an avid reader of your writings…
When you “vacated” I told my daughter that I wished you were my neighbor…I’d love to sit and drink coffee with you and hear your stories every day.
Love,
Kari B
JENNI!
Girl, I am teary-happy for you this morning. Praise God for the supreme joy a teeny little rhythmic heartbeat can bring!!!
WOOT and many high fives! The fruit of the womb is His reward.
Tears of joy..for you!