Now that the big announcement is out of the way, I just want to say that one of the most hopeful symptoms I have had this time around was the fact that I have been feeling like Epic Crapola. The last four pregnancies were of the (hatefully named) “blighted ovum” type, with the baby inexplicably ceasing to develop past 6 weeks. Since six weeks is right around the time that I usually start to feel bad, I knew the gig was up when I felt more or less normal.
Of course, I tried to rationalize with “well, I’m getting older, things are bound to change” and “maybe it’s because I eat healthier now” and “every pregnancy is different” but in my heart of hearts, I knew, even before the sonograms revealed the truth in glaring black and white.
A few weeks ago, I noticed that everything smelled horrible. Things that normally would not have bothered me at all (soup. pancakes. scented soap. the closet. lotion. deodorant. the couch. the kitchen. the dining room. pretty much my whole house. my own upper lip.) turned me green. My children giggled one morning when I took the peelings from one of their clementines and shoved them up my nose during their spelling lesson. They thought I was just being silly.
And don’t even get me started on the things that usually smell bad to me anyway (the dog. my son’s room. diapers. heavily perfumed ladies. brocolli.). My only recourse was minty gum, and lots of it. Stepping through the doors of Wal Mart was like taking my life into my own hands, and not for all the usual reasons. The orgy of cacophanous smells that assault my nostrils every time I go in that cursed place is enough to make me resort to this:
or, at the very least, this:
A couple of weeks ago I gave up my beloved coffee because I’m pretty sure it was killing me softly with its song. At first, I thought chai tea would be my go-to hot beverage substitute. I liked it a lot. It tasted great.
Shortly thereafter, I bought a chai tea latte from Starbucks one morning and with one sip a loud and persistent bell began going off in my head: ALARM! ALARM! STEP AWAY FROM THE CHAI! IMMINENT REVERSAL OF DIGESTIVE GRAVITY LIKELY!!!
So that was disappointing.
I drank hot chocolate this morning, which was okay, but now my heart is beating like a tiny bird trapped in a net and I think I won’t be doing that anymore either.
I miss my darling evil little coffee friend. It’s the one thing that still smells good to me.
Y’all know I’m not complaining. I mean, yes, I’m complaining, but it doesn’t negate my abundant delight at the reason behind the world smelling like one humongous waste processing plant.
I best be off now. I have to make a shopping list. My family insists on still getting hungry at regular intervals, which means I must brave the wilds of the grocery megalopolis and its deli-burnt-fried-chicken-shoe-leather-bleach-floor-cleaner smell.
Pray for me.
CONGRATULATIONS, and may the Lord bless you and keep you and baby safe and healthy throughout this season of growth! What a gift! What a miracle! Blessings!
2 points for the “killing me soflty with its song!” Hilarious. Congratulations on the baby-to-be! Hooray!
Oops. Negative 2 points go to me for a typo. *softly.
Love the clementine peelings stuffed in nose…will have to make a note of that one. Walmart smells bad at any time but when pregnant & sick I usually sit in the car and send my dear husband in. Congrats again!
Aww.. Well it’s a blessing in disguise right?! I am praying
Unequivocably. I had hoped that was understood!
oh wow. what a perfect description of walmart’s smell. lovin’ your adjectives!
praying for you, dear mama. if you need somebody to shop for you, let me know!
walmart but public restrooms were worse. i’d nearly wet myself trying to hold it before going into one and dry heaving through the whole ordeal.
My husband compared me to a bloodhound when I was pregnant. It’s how I figured out the 2nd time around that I WAS pregnant–the garlic toast my MIL was making make me run out of the house.
Hooray for mint gum! Good luck with WalMart. Although aren’t any of your children old enough to drive and help out in that arena?
See answer below…
don’t you have kids old enough to suffer the Walmart experience for you?
technically, yes, but this would require driving our 15 passenger van, which is the only vehicle we have once my beloved leaves for work each day and it’s a lot to expect from a (relatively) new driver. Plus I’m not sure how payment would be rendered, as I don’t usually carry 100’s around and the idea of giving a blank check makes me a trifle nervous lest it be dropped somewhere along the way.
Mint gum and mint tea and sprite were all that sounded good for months with #1, and I nearly threw up in a classy Asian restaurant, among many other places. I lost ten pounds in the first trimester. #2 was easy, which was great considering I had a small baby and didn’t really have time or energy to be sick all the time. Since they were a boy and a girl, I now have the uncertainty of knowing whether its a girl/boy thing for me, or whether I got that horrible nausea out of the way for good…
You get huge creativity points for sticking citrus peels up your nose. I put strongly scented (MINT… are we noticing a theme?) lotion on my wrists and would sniff them all the time. I mean, when I felt nauseous.
Congratulations, Jenni! Praying for you to feel much better and for your baby to thrive!
YEAY CONGRATS!!!! I am so happy that you feel like dukey right now
. Guess what… we can be due date buddies (yeah, how appealing, a due date buddy with some freako commenter out in the blogosphere. In my defense, Kate knows me and we corresponded for a bit before getting engulfed in our separate lives again, so I’m not a total random stranger).
I will be praying for you and a sticky bean. Had a miscarriage myself last Thanksgiving and am too chicken to go to the doctor again… that unbeating heart on the last ultrasound was too heartbreaking. Please keep us posted on the lovely crappy feeling and here’s hoping you have many encouraging weeks of it! Yeay for #14!!!!
heh heh….#13…unless there was someone hiding behind the someone I saw…
Oh, and you know what? I can’t drink coffee either when I’m pregnant, but life without coffee is AWFUL. Beer, too…
I remember one pregnancy, when I could not stand the smell of the produce section in the supermarket. So earthy! Dirt everywhere! Blecch!
Congratulations!
Good…I am glad…smile…
Me too! In case that wasn’t obvious…
Praying for you friend. Made me smile to hear the news. Sick can be such a blessed event.
My family keeps on getting hungry at regular intervals also. About 6 regular intervals a day. Two preteen boys are eating us out of house and home. I don’t know what we will do when they are actual teens. Just park by the grocery store and let them graze, I guess.
The whiff of spinach in cream sauce was what did me in. Took YEARS to enjoy it again.
I am so sorry about the chai tea latte though. I thought that would make it all better again. It is so delicious.
Congratulations!!!
I hope you made it through the store with you cookies un-tossed. The worst aisle for me was always the laundry detergents. I don’t know what vile chemicals they put in those things, but boy did they smell bad!
Ohhh, I’m so excited for you and the new baby! Sorry you are sick. Prayers for you and your family. (You kind of remind me of Mary Stuart Masterson from Fried Green Tomatoes, have you been told that before?)
I can’t even brave the stench of Walmart when I’m NOT pregnant, lol, I hate that place! Oh, and by the way…CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! May you have an easy, healthy, wonderful pregnancy!
This is only my fourth, but MAN! We lost one in July where I felt exactly normal and knew something was wrong, just as you said. This time I’ve been sick as a dog from week 4 AND I have hypoglycemia now. I just remind myself, 13 weeks along means this should ease up soon!
So excited for you!
Congratulations!! I am absolutely thrilled for you! I had a baby at 42 & another just before I turned 44. Like you I lost a few babies before being being blessed with my youngest daughters. It broke my heart to never look into those children’s eye but I also know their loss made me cherish even more every moment of my youngest two… who I consider my bonus babies!
Might I suggest just a small schmear of vicks vaporub around, or day I say inside, your nostrils to be your own personal force field against all things odorously offensive! What? It worked for me. That and having a mouthful of altoids as reinforcements. Congratulatioins!
Wow, somebody can’t do math.
Guess it would’ve been better just to off the kid right after conception, eh? Oh yes, I’m sure the child’s quality of life will be much diminished because mother won’t “play sports” or “rough and tumble activities”, and will instead pass on the role of punching bag, wild indian, and “horsey” to the ever-willing teenaged siblings that delight in such activities. Ha! Will you use the same argument with the 23 year old mother who simply has no desire to play sports, but chooses to cheer from the sidelines? Why is that so bad? I’m not sure the kindergarten’s soccer team would really want me, anyway…
For what it’s worth, the “rest of the brood” is delighted, as will the grandson be, and as is everyone who has any regard, respect, or love of God and life in general.
Love you lots, mother dear. This person is not worth responding to, I know. I just couldn’t bear to stop the flow of righteous, indignant molten wrath on your behalf and that of the beautiful baby in question. If she could speak I’m sure she would pipe up in defense of her right to carry out God’s purpose in this world as well as the next. He places life where He sees fit, and who are we to challenge Him? Who is this “Shelly”, who spouts such foul presumptions?
Goodbye, and good riddance, I say.
Thank you, my dear. Who could ask for a better defender than the eldest of such a horrific brood of spawn? For those wondering, this is in response to a comment saying that I “reeked of selfishness” for having many children. I deleted the comment without much thought but now am wishing I had left it. It had its entertainment value as well as at least one point to ponder.
You may “reek”, at least by your pregnant noses standards, but not of selfishness. Personally I’ve never found you to smell. Hahahahahaha! Best of luck I know the queasy drill all to well and you have my sympathy.
Welcome back! And congratulations.
I’m sorry I missed the “lousy” comment…I would give her an earful….But I guess I wouldn’t have to, because Rose did such a beautiful job of it!!
Hurrah for Rose! Hurrah for Jenni! Hurrah for God, who uses the weak things of this world to confound the “wise!”
Rose, you are entirely too UNselfish to be the eldest of such a large brood of children! My goodness, you should be like every other average young adult in America who can’t wait to get away from their family and do their own thing without any concern for how it affects anyone else. (rolling eyes so hard they’re falling out of my head)
Apparently the poster who said your mom reeks of selfishness is either not a parent, herself, or she sucks at the job if she is one because ANY mother knows that having children forces a person to give MORE of themselves and to be LESS selfish, not the reverse.
Regardless, she knows nothing about your mom and you did a beautiful job of telling her to shut her pie hole. Well done, Miss Rose!
Jenni, you are a doll and well-loved in your corner of the internet. I count myself blessed to know you & to be able to call you my friend.
YAY! Wonderful, wonderful news. So happy for you. Bake on!
Well… I guess I missed the drama. Darn it. What did this troll say about Mom? What did this troll say about you? Where does this troll live so I can rip her larynx from her throat?
Also… I see you gots my button up thar! Thanks! Wish I could get it to work on mine! I had a computer guy over the other day and he couldn’t even figure out how to get the button WITH THE BOX AND CODE UNDERNEATH IT. Getting the button isn’t a problem. It’s getting the little box underneath it.
Oooh, okay, I wondered what exactly was the difficulty on your end…I’ll ask Jim what he thinks might be the issue. And the troll didn’t say anything about mom, lol…simply told me I reeked of selfishness, that I only had babies to “feel important”, and that my children were destined for resentment and anger issues. I think that about sums it up.
Congratulations! So glad you’re sick!
I’m due in a month and had the worst first trimester in my history. I survived in the mornings with Russian Spiced Tea – mmmm, good (even to an overly sensitive pregnant nose and stomach). To make it, mix 2/3 C instant (unflavored) tea, 2 C tang (yes, that orange stuff), 2 packages instant unsweetened lemonade, 2 C sugar, 2 tsp cinnamon, 2 tsp ground cloves. And you can throw in some red hots for color. Mix it well, store in an air-tight container, and add a couple teaspoons per cup of hot water.
Good luck with all your shopping excursions!