Kitchen Sink Saturday

 ROMEO TAKE ME! SOMEWHERE WE CAN BE ALONE! I’VE BEEN WAITING! ALL THAT’S LEFT TO DO IS RUN! YOU BE THE PRINCE AND I’LL BE THE PRINCESS…

What? Oh. Sorry. Heh heh. Just singing along to the music here…

I’m just going a little stir-crazy, that’s all. My ipod understands, don’t you, Poddy? Whoozagoodipod, huh? WHOOZAGOODPODDY? YOU ARE! YOU ARE!!

Ahem.

I may need some prayers to get through this winter. Or an intervention of some sort.

As you may have noticed, there have been a few more tweaks and twirks to ye olde blogge around these parts, and if you will please notice (please? please notice?), I now have TWO NEW ITEMS in my sidebar!

TWO! NEW! ITEMS! ALL NEW! ALL NEW TODAY! MADE BY YOURS TRULY! WITH MY OWNTY-OWN HANDS!

One of them is a link to my Etsy shop. My own etsy shop! Yippee hooray! And it actually has actually real, actual items in it!

And I kid you not, I posted a few things just this morning and within ONE HOUR, I had sold something. I am not even kidding. Kidding you, not. KIDDING.  When the email popped up in my inbox, there may have been some shrieking, and some high-fiving, and some disproportionate excitement.

You must remember how exciting my life has been lately, though, to truly understand.

The other button is my new blog button. Not that I had an old blog button. I’ve never had a blog button at all before, so I thought to myself “hey, why not make a blog button?” and I said “I don’t know, why not?” and then I said “It’s a great idea!” and then I had a long conversation with my ipod.

And then I made a button.

Feel free to take the code and slap it up on your site, if you do such things. Or just admire its cuteness.

Did you know that Monday is the first day of February? It is, I promise. Why are you glancing at your calendar? Don’t you trust me? Anyway, you know what February means, right? It means I survived January! And surviving January is always something of a celebration ’round these parts. Which is good news for you. So be sure to come visit on Monday.

Lastly, before I sign off and go spend an hour or twenty weeping over photographs from past beach vacations, may I just thank you from the depths of my bosom for clicking over to Kate’s adoption site and putting a penny or two in the coffers? Because you guys are just THE BEST, and don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.

In closing,

SHE WEARS HIGH HEELS, I WEAR SNEAKERS, SHE’S CHEER CAPTAIN AND I’M ON THE BLEACHERS! DREAMIN BOUT THE DAY WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND FIND THAT WHAT YOU’RE LOOKIN FOR HAS BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME…

Sincerely,

Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate

My Mother Always Said…

“Only boring people get bored.”

That’s what she used to tell me. Whining to her in the middle of summer or during school breaks for the holidays like the spoiled rotten brat that I was, I would slink off to my room after she said it, pouting that my own mother called me boring. Assembling my ten million stuffed animals, I would call the meeting to order and inquire as to what grand adventure we should have together.

They would stare at me, glassy-eyed, silent…unhelpful. I knew they participated in all sorts of hair-raising schemes behind my back, but were they going to confess to their devoted, doting person? Not a chance. Screw them. I retreated to my closet to check if it had transformed into a portal to Narnia instead. Nope. Still just a wall of sheetrock.

My mother would also offer to let me fold laundry, or dust, or put away dishes, if I complained too frequently, or too long. What I really wanted was a flying unicorn. Or a rainbow I could climb to visit the cloud men of Roald Dahl’s imagination. I WANTED AN ADVENTURE, BY GOLLY.

When my own children get bored, I say “Revel in it! Enjoy it! Do you know how many people in the world would LOVE to know how it feels to be bored? It’s a luxury!! You could be working in a sweatshop or a coal mine! You could be digging potatoes until your fingernails fall off, you could be…(etc)”

I’m much more long-winded than my mother.

I am also the world’s biggest hypocrite. Because,

Right now? 

I’M SO BORED.

SO. BORED.

SOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

The most exciting thing that happened to me today was that my baby boy pooped Stonehenge. It is, at this moment, sitting in the bottom of the toilet bowl, slowly eroding since it refuses to flush. I should start a betting pool amongst my children to see who estimates its time-to-flushability to the closest minute. 

The sameness of my days is killing me. Am I alone? Or am I just the only one brave enough to say it? I mean, come on, it’s an unwritten rule that Christians (especially) are not supposed to complain of boredom. We are supposed to savor every moment in an attitude of thankfulness for our every breath. I know this. I’m not stupid. It’s pretty much sinful to pout over the lack of portals to other dimensions where every episode moment is a new thrill.

And so I’ll make my own excitement. I will rise above the boredom that is trying to claim me. I AM NOT A BORING PERSON, BY JINGO! I AM A CLEVER AND CREATIVE SOUL!

I will go and see if I can flush the toilet yet.

And maybe burn something down.